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  Review: “My Street”  
Posted 2003-03-18 by Tony Walsh
My Street (PS2)

Publisher: SCEA
Developer: Idol Minds
Price: $Unknown
Availability: Now
Also see: Preview

When I wax nostalgic about my old neighbourhood, I think fondly about the punches I received, the biker gang that lived across the street, or the girls that played Truth or Dare with kissable results. The kids of SCEA's "My Street" will never get a single grain of grit under their fingernails. Their world is vivid, clean, and a hell of a lot less dangerous than a fist in the gut from the local bully.

Continue reading: Review: “My Street”
  Thomas The Tank Engine: Derailed  
Posted 2003-03-12 by Tony Walsh
Thomas the Tank engine shows tots so many rail crashes that the precious little monkeys are likely to become dreadfully fearful of trains. This, according to Brian Young, a psychology lecturer at Britain's Exeter University. [source]

It's not unusual for TV shows targetting children to be accused of making them crazy. Read "Barney vs. Individuality" or "Education, Commercialism and Barney" by Terrell Henry. Or recall Jerry Falwell's Tiny Winky obsession. Or the seizure-inducing Pocket Monsters. It's a madhouse! A madhouse!
  Preview: “My Street”  
Posted 2003-03-12 by Tony Walsh
My Street (PS2)

Publisher: SCEA
Developer: Idol Minds
Price: $Unknown
Availability: March 12, 2003

My Street boasts exciting party game action for both local and Internet-based players, putting gamers in the very tiny shoes of neighbourhood kids. Limited to four players in total, participants test their skill in such classic mini-games as Dodgeball and Marbles, while learning new ones... Chicken Herding? Must be a rough street.

I'm not sure what the appeal is here, considering it's not all that hard to play an actual game of marbles around the house, or, perish the thought, go outside and pick up a ball. I guess it's just easier to sit on the couch and watch your ass grow.

  The Trolley Car Never Came Back…  
Posted 2003-02-27 by Tony Walsh
Mister Rogers, R.I.P. [link:momo,others]
In case you can't remember the characters from the Neighbourhood of Make-Believe, here they are. My favorite was the scary Purple Panda from Planet Purple. What's scarier than a giant purple panda? I have no idea.
  “The beauty of life in the palm of your hand!”  
Posted 2003-01-29 by Tony Walsh
Either that or the horror of a medically accurate, anatomically correct, life size premature baby doll in the palm of your hand. Including "micropremies" as early as 8 weeks. Sad, strange, and darkly funny all at once. Not recommended for children under 5 years of age. [link:titus]
  Kids:  Your Parents Have Said “Yes” to Drugs  
Posted 2003-01-14 by Tony Walsh
Got an antsy kid? How about a lazy kid? How about a talkative kid? A few good pills will fix that right up. A recently-published study, as reported by the Washington Post, claims "The number of American children being treated with psychiatric drugs has grown sharply in the past 15 years, tripling from 1987 to 1996 and showing no sign of slowing down..." It's all about the quick fix. Hungry? Order a pizza. Got an itch? Take some antibiotics. As long as the problem goes away immediately, who cares?
  Breaking Sarcasm News:  
Posted 2003-01-13 by Tony Walsh
The kids don't get it. Nope. This, according to Canadian reseasrcher Penny Pexman, who claims that children under the age of about 10 almost always interpret a sarcastic remark as serious, even when it is intended to be humorous. Obviously anyone creating content for kids should keep this in mind. Duh. [source]
  Billy Van, R.I.P.  
Posted 2003-01-09 by Tony Walsh
Sadly, Canadian comic actor Billy Van has died. He starred in a multitude of roles in the psychedelic "Hilarious House of Frightenstein," which entertained and spooked 1970s-era kids. He was funny as hell, but I know he'll be in vampire heaven. R.I.P. Mr. Van.
  “Collectible” means it’s for adults…  
Posted 2003-01-03 by Tony Walsh
 has a boatload of short-run, collectible figures that are worth checking out just to get a handle on "what the kids are up to" these days. Some pretty insane designs out there, most of which are probably old news in Japan. In addition to "the best in urban vinyl action figures," Kid Robot also has some nifty miniature remote-controlled vehicles, including tanks and killer cars. Yay for killer cars! [link>rui]
  “Santa is Dead”  
Posted 2002-12-11 by Tony Walsh
It's good to tell children earlier than later, really. This way they'll be better equipped later in life when they're working in a tiny office cubicle... Santa is dead. I am not getting a raise. Most people dislike me. I suffer from lower back pain.
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