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  Worst Game Name Ever  
Posted 2005-03-22 by Tony Walsh
Congratulations, Astral Masters on the worst game name ever devised. I hereby abbreviate your name as "AssMasters." May your players forever be ashamed to utter your name aloud.
Posted 2005-03-17 by Tony Walsh
School bullies in Manitboa, Canada had better beware. It's bad enough a local teacher's been outfitting them in helmets of humiliation emblazoned with such choice labels as "Loser"... but the tiny thugs are also being subjected to experiments in role-playing. The CBC's got the full report on the weirdest Canadian educational effort I've ever head of. Bullies suck, it's true. But bullying bullies sucks more. Doesn't it?
  Katamari Hat  
Posted 2005-02-13 by Tony Walsh
Katamari Damacy is an innovative Japanese video game wherein players roll around a sticky ball called a "Katamari" that picks up everything in its path [see review here]. A Canadian girl liked the Katamari so much, she decided to knit hats in its image and sell the hats on Ebay. There's currently no word on whether or not the hat is sticky.
  RoPot Invasion  
Posted 2005-02-13 by Tony Walsh
Toronto-based artist/adventurer Andrew Duff has unleashed a RoPot army. This terrifying blend of robot, clay and yoga has escaped the confines of firey kilns, only to be stretched and twisted into relaxing poses for your viewing pleasure. Nine of Duff's creations are currently available for inspection and rotation.

I've got a RoPot on my windowsill, but you can't see it because I'm not inviting you over.
  Babies With Beards… Yet Again  
Posted 2005-02-10 by Tony Walsh
It's both rewarding and amusing to create a meme, set it loose, and watch it cascade across the web. Babies with Beards is now on its second wind, this time making the rounds through European web sites. Godspeed, Babies. May your goatees wrap the world in a warm embrace!
  Saskatoon’s 1945 Ballooning  
Posted 2005-02-07 by Tony Walsh
At no time during my brief flirtation with the Canadian education system was it explained to me that in 1945, a Japanese bomb struck the Saskatchewan prairie. Thanks to the CBC, the intensity of the bombing has been forever etched into the annals of history. "I figured it was a guy coming down in a parachute," 75-year-old Ralph Melle of Regina tells us. In actuality, Melle's parachute-guy was one of over 9,000 balloon-borne weapons sent by the Japanese across the Pacific. The Saskatoon balloon didn't explode. Because nothing interesting ever happens in Canada.
  Virtual Nipples Make Ripples  
Posted 2005-02-02 by Tony Walsh
The line between art and Adults-Only content has been clearly demarcated by Linden Lab, operators of the virtual world Second Life. Stormy Roentgen, a resident sculptor, reports that her works have been removed from PG-rated areas of the world due to their anatomically-correct chests. As a result, she has begrudgingly resorted to providing works without nipples. Although her work has included flesh-coloured sculptures, the artist claims that stone nipples appear to be equally-offensive to the Lindens. No nipple, it seems, is safe.

While the nude human body has apparently been relegated to the domain of pornography, residents weilding swords, flamethrowers, chainsaws, missile-launchers, and automatic weapons are still allowed to roam free in PG-rated areas. Not to mention that my own chicken avatar isn't wearing any pants.

In unrelated real-world news, enraged Canadians have broken the penis off of a local statue. No word yet on whether security has been beefed up around the statue of David in Florence, Italy.
  Spandex, Man!  
Posted 2005-01-20 by Tony Walsh
It's a bird... it's a plane... no, it's... GOOD GOD, NO! SHIELD YOUR EYES!

Spandexman provides all the hot unitard action a budding superhero could desire, including classic Superman, Green Lantern, and Spider-Man duds. Rolled-up sock not included, and don't forget your super boots.

Today's superheroes have clearly forgotten that the first step in fighting evil is getting a good wardrobe. Yes, I'm talking to YOU, Pointy Head Star Boy, Goldface and Xenoclaw, and the Magenta Guzzler.
  Impossible “Angel Light” Blindsides Science  
Posted 2005-01-20 by Tony Walsh
Canadian inventor Troy Hurtubise is probably best known for his work on an anti-bear combat suit, profiled in the 1996 documentary "Project Grizzly." These days, however, Hurtubise is gearing up for something far, far, weirder. We're talking B-movie weird here.

Based on recurring dreams, Hurtubise reportedly developed a disconcerting invention without blueprints or schematics. The invention, dubbed the Angel Light, sees through solid material with window-like efficiency. Think of it as an unstoppable X-Ray machine. Not only can the device penetrate lead, wood, and ceramic, but the light emissions of the device (think "death ray" here) stop machines in their tracks and kill goldfish. Hurtubise is apparently shopping the technology around: The French government reportedly sent out representatives to witness a demo of the machine, paying him $40k to complete the device. says it has documents that confirm "the former head of Saudi counter-intelligence...has been in regular contact with Hurtubise regarding the Angel Light..."

Continue reading: Impossible “Angel Light” Blindsides Science
  Gay Bomb, Gay Bomb, Gay Bomb!  
Posted 2005-01-17 by Tony Walsh
I'm all for a bomb that turns the enemy gay. Make love, not war. Reader Adoom submits the following commentary:

Hmm, maybe they can create a "tolerance bomb", a bomb that spreads a healthy dose of truth and sanity causing all who ingest it to stop being complete morons for a moment and start to think of better ways to resolve conflict. Symptoms could include clarity of thought, improved military budget handling, fewer military deaths, and the end of terrorism on all fronts. Some side-effects may include nausea and a strange Disney-like society where all things are good again...

Perhaps another good bomb would be a THC bomb. Let's face it, millions of North Americans can attest to the effects of pot being lack of motivation, hunger, sleepiness, and slurred speach. Imagine an army of potheads. "Hey let's invade.....uhm...what was that we were gonna
do?.......crap...I forgot. hey can you pass me those Doritos?"
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Dinozoiks wrote:
Wow! Thanks for that Tony. Just posted a bunch of other tips here... Hope it helps someone... Dino...
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in Free iPhone Games Are Awful: Strategy?

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in Free iPhone Games Are Awful: Strategy?

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in Free iPhone Games Are Awful: Strategy?

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in Electric Sheep Builds Its Own Flock

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