Clickable Culture   Official Research Blog of Phantom Compass
  Cyveillance Sends Me a Nastygram  
Posted 2006-11-07 by Tony Walsh
I just received a hilarious nastygram from Cyveillance, a self-described "internet monitoring agency" that can't tell its ass from a hole in the ground. Cyveillance's robots believe I require the authorization of Nintendo of America Inc. in order to discuss trademarked Nintendo properties. The robots also believe that Clickable Culture is a sexually-explicit web site. The robots are wrong: I don't require any corporation's permission to criticize or satirize its intellectual property, and, obviously, this blog is not sexually-explicit. Not even the post cited in the complaint is sexually-explicit.

Nice try, Cyveillance, but you haven't done a thing to protect Nintendo's brand. If anything, you've raised awareness of the object of your complaint. Your overzealous and misguided request doesn't just make you look bad, it makes Nintendo look bad by association. It's one thing to shoot yourself in the foot, but why take your client down with you?

As I wrote last year, Cyveillance is under the impression its system is infallible. As shown by its system's inability to detect my mockery, and with the automated delivery of its misguided nastygram, the company has demonstrated that its system is as deeply flawed as I'd guessed. Never send a robot to do a human's job, you knuckleheads. Following is the full text of the message. Note that the company hasn't actually accused me of infringement, but the language was constructed to suggest I've committed a serious transgression.


IDENTIFIED PROBLEM: Web site uses a Nintendo trademark (Nintendo,Princess Peach) in
the code of the page.

Dear Tony Walsh,

We are an Internet monitoring agency representing Nintendo of America
Inc. ("Nintendo"). We are writing to ask you to stop using the Nintendo
properties in the hidden text/visible text/meta tags and/or title and/or
links of the above-referenced sexually explicit Web site. Nintendo's
customers include many children and their parents. Unauthorized use of
Nintendo trademark(s)/work(s) is harmful to those customers and will
tarnish Nintendo's reputation.

We look forward to your immediate confirmation that you have taken the
necessary steps to resolve this matter. To that end, you may email us at

Please note that these are automatic email boxes so typically no
response is sent as long as the problem is corrected.

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Comment posted by WoWAddictBlog
November 7, 2006 @ 5:04 pm
Princess Peach vs blow up doll....LOL....that's awesome.
Comment posted by n0wak
November 8, 2006 @ 9:20 am
Comment posted by Tony Walsh
November 8, 2006 @ 10:33 am
Thanks for the linkage, interesting to see how even a weakly-worded notice can shiver people's timbers. This is certainly generating some bad feelings about Cyveillance specifically, and Nintendo by extension. What a stupid PR move.
Comment posted by Brace
November 10, 2006 @ 5:19 pm
Did ya cheeze smack em?


sheesh some folk just need a good ole fashioned cheeze smackin
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