Clickable Culture   Official Research Blog of Phantom Compass
  Down and Out in the Virtual Magic Kingdom  
Posted 2005-05-25 by Tony Walsh
Disney's horrendous Virtual Magic Kingdom is now accepting visitors in "Sneak Preview Beta" mode. The web-based online multiuser environment mimics the real theme park, except with more shopping and less human misery.

Because the Disney experience is supposed to be kid friendly, interpersonal communication is limited to a pre-approved vocabulary, so words such as "rebellion," "love," "obey," and "usurp" are just not allowed. In the interest of making the Virtual Magic Kingdom a more believable place, I've compiled a list of handy phrases that get past the sanitization filter:

Trust nobody.
Hats are not allowed.
I hate everyone.
I hurt people.
Give me your money.
The end is near.
Take no prisoners.
I hurt my face.
This ride is bad.
Death is the answer.
Fear is your friend.
Nothing is as it seems.
I like to hug boys.
Will you sit on my knees?
We can lie down together in bed, can't we?
Boys are cute.
I enjoy unhappy people.
I make the rules around here.
I showed Cinderella my big sword.
Grab my long staff and pull.
Lean over and I'll hit your bottom.
Hug my magic lantern and you'll win a prize!
I worked here for a long time without benefits.
Bow to your leader!
I will eat your brains.
It's only fun and games when someone loses an eye.
Girls are soft.
I will curse you all, I promise.
I will gather followers and start my own army.
I could be your robot. Would you like to push my buttons?
Follow me, minions, I am your master!
I'm taking Disney to court.
Am I the master beta?
Everything around here smells bad.
My hand was crushed under a roller.
My foot got stuck between boats on this ride, and was badly hurt.
I live in a white room.
Who here wants to get it on?
Anyone else here like animals?
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Comment posted by Tony Walsh
June 2, 2005 @ 8:14 am
Reader Niki notes that "bring out your dead" also cuts through the filter. Which is good, considering the astounding mortality rates in the VMK.
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